I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
