I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Is it penis luge time yet?
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
After tacos, we're chasing women.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
