I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
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