I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Randomize
