just survived the first fart of the relationship.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
