Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
a search helicopter?!
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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