This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Randomize
