quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Randomize
