people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
