I can text with my tongue
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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