What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
