But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
