You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
