It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
party gras won. party gras always wins.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
