nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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