No, drunk sperm still make babies.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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