Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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