I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
