erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
