Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Randomize
