And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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