you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
