So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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