***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
