So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
