girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
