I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize
