We're facebook friends in real life
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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