I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
