69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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