My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
