The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
You have to summon your inner elephant
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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