please come you make the beer taste better
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
