We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
