Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
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