oh god the rape fog is back!
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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