This is not my ceiling
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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