I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
