I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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