Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
