Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
