He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Randomize
