We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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