just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Randomize
