why didn't you poke me back
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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