You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
