I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Everything about him screamed your future.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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