So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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