True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
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