Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
