why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
