Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
