Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
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