Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I just blew my weed a kiss
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
