Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
